I've written a bunch of drafts over the past few weeks, in my head and 'on paper', but I can't seem to express exactly what's going on. Let's try again, hopefully this one will get published...
I recently battled a relapse of the MS. It was a minor one and is pretty much over now, praise God! My neurologist did a couple MRI's, which we hadn't done in 3 years. Amazing news - only one tiny, tiny new spot in all that time :) My C-Spine came back clear. Lab work came back clear too! Good stuff! We switched my meds too. For the past 3 years I was doing a once-a-week injection into a muscle (read - big needle) but now I'm doing a 3x week little needle. The side effects are less because the dosage is more spread out, ya! And after the big needle for so long, the new one is almost cute. It also has an auto-inject thing so I don't even see the needle go in and my mom is off the hook now. Good stuff, good stuff.
Battling the relapse sucked though. As I type this my left arm/hand are kinda tingly. I was having balance/coordination problems, more that usual, but they seem to be subsiding. I mostly just gotta stay out of the heat. Easy to do in the Midwest this time of year, right? :-/
I started a 2nd, part-time job a little while back. I'm working in the office of the martial arts place where I take Zumba. I pretty much like it, starting to wonder if I've taken on too much though.
I'm back at the weight I was a year ago, that's not good. I do Zumba 3x a week, but I haven't been walking and I eat out A LOT! Partly because I hardly ever seem to be home, and when I am, I'm sleeping or watching TV or movies. Cooking is low on my list of priorities. So is cleaning for that matter...
Here's the biggest issue in my life as of late, brace yourself... I'm tired of Christianity. At least how it stands today. I LOVE Jesus, He is my Lord, Savior, Best-Friend, so loosing my faith isn't what I'm talking about. It's the rules, regulations, expectations, judgments of/by 'religious' people. I'm as guilty as the next person, and so not perfect, but I'm tired of it. Tired of trying to change the world by telling them what they do is wrong. We do sin, but judging people isn't going to make them want to come to Salvation. Loving them will. Jesus didn't preach at the unsaved, He preached at the religious leaders. He loved and hung out with the worldly. He wasn't best friends with them, and He certainly didn't let their lifestyle choices pull Him down, but He did love them. Unsaved people don't know any better... we need to quit trying to change them! That is God's job! And how will they come to know the loving, saving grace of our Lord if all we do is try to share His wrath? Speak the Truth in Love, not hate!
OK, done with that rant, for now. I'm sure there are plenty of disagreements against a lot of what I just said, I used to be one to argue those points.
I'm just in a place where I want to know God, truly know Him. Not just what I've been taught, but what His Word says. I don't want to take anything of Christianity for granted and I don't want to live a lie. There's a lot of sayings out there and a lot of assumptions on how God feels about different subjects... but what does He really have to say about it all?
If I get any wisdom, I'll pass it along.
