15!

I'm down 15 pounds! It actually happened a couple weeks ago, but I've been slacking on blogging. I'm little behind the goal I wanted to be at by the end of March, which is 16.5, but it could happen in the next few days. The marathon is in less than 2 weeks, not at all ready. At least it's going to be gorgeous out for the rest of this week, I hope to walk everyday.

I've had a few rough weeks. We've been going through a series at church on hope the heart(stick with me)and things from my past have been resurfacing. I didn't quite understand why until yesterday's service. God was showing me things that I needed to lay down at His feet. People I needed to forgive and let go, things that were said, things that were done to me. Rejections. Jesus had all that happen to Him too, He really does understand what we're going through. And no matter who does what to me, He will never leave and never stop loving me. So freeing!

this is short, just wanted to update. please comment if you're reading this, just curious if anyone is.

1 month update

So, it'll be month tomorrow since I decided to start loosing weight... and I'm down 9lbs!!! Mostly just calorie counting using myfitnesspal.com, which is a great resource. I'm trying to work out more, especially walking for the marathon. My parents got me a Wii for my birthday and I played it last night for the first time. The boxing is pretty cool and gives a decent workout, I think. Hope to get a balance boards and Wii Fit Plus in the future, but I don't have the money right now.

Besides all that, my dad was finally able to figure out how to get me hot water pressure... such a luxury! My parents got a new bed so I got their old one. It's a queen and is in soooo much better condition than my old one. I also got a haircut last Saturday and chopped off a bunch. It's the shortest I remembering being since grade school, and so cute.

Things are good because God is great :)

marathon, here I come!

So, I signed up for the marathon yesterday. The marathon is April 10th, a little less than 3 months away and its 5k, which is only 3.1 miles... which is what I told myself before I went walking today for the first time. OMG, I think my legs are going to fall off! Only walked 1/2 mile in 10 minutes, but my calves feel horrible! Can't breath. :(

Well, short blog... just wanted to write down how awful I feel today so that in a couple months I see how far I've come :)

week 2

We decided at work to postpone the Biggest Loser competition b/c only 4 people were interested. We're going to try again next month and maybe add a prize from the company. I'm not going to sit around a 'bulk up' for the next few weeks though. My health and life are more important. I weighed myself again Monday and I've already lost 4.6lbs!!! Partly due to an upset tummy this weekend, but hey, I'll take it. Going to start walking w/a least one other co-worker tomorrow at lunch. Feels so good to actually working towards this goal!!

Other than that, I've caught myself smiling more! The depression is losing its grip :)

start of the weight loss

It's been awhile, I know. The depression has lessened, a lot. Thank God for Zoloft!! No, really. I kept fighting that pill and thought if I was just a good enough Christian, my mood would change. But considering that I'm on over 20 pills a day... a chemical imbalance was defiantly a factor.

Anyway, I thought I'd take an attempt at blogging my way through some weight loss. I believe if I lost weight, I could get off a bunch of those 20 pills! We started a Biggest Loser competition today at work too... so now there's some money on the line!

Starting weight... OMG, can't believe I'm actually going to put this out there... 220.0. Yuck!! I've been heavier though. My goal? 190 - that's 2.5lbs per week before the Biggest Loser ends on March 31st. 13.6%. I'd like to then be under 160 by the end of the year. Possible??? Of course. With God's strength!! Plus the encouragement of friends and family.

My difficulties will be from the MS and the PCOS. MS makes me tired and PCOS just messes with hormones and metabolism so much. But, I can overcome!!

I'm also thinking about signing up for a marathon. Only the 5k one though, that's only 3.1 miles. Its in April, so that's 4 months to train. We'll see...

liar

last night I'm getting ready to go to a Homemade Gourmet party (good stuff BTW) and had this a little voice in my head says that there's nothing wrong with me, everything's fine, no need to change anything, take it easy. Really? that same voice usually says there's nothing right with me! that this is wrong and that is wrong and no one likes me. Man, the devil is a liar!!!

I know God loves me the way I am, but that doesn't mean He wants me to stay that way (that came from the first good Christian book I read from Max Lucado, Just Like Jesus, should read that again).

I read 2 different devotionals via email and they keep confirming the rebuilding of the foundation and other thoughts that I battle and will probably be a part of this process (more on those later). I know I'm on the right track... gotta love those sweet confirmations.

Foundations

My foundation is cracked and crumbling in places, spiritually I mean. My basement has a crack or two, but nothing to worry about, or so I've been told! If my spiritual foundation; however, is built on Him - the Rock - it would be firm... I think its time to breakup what's been laid and rebuild. The sand is sinking. Small steps though. This isn't a job that can be done in a day, a week or months, this is a life process.

Speaking of broken - so is this vessel. I've tried faceting myself into something that the Creator never intended. What's it supposed to look like? Not sure, but I'm willing to find out. And maybe even a little slimmer? :)